Customer 1: I'd like a Grande coffee in a venti cup with 2 pumps hazelnut, 2 pumps vanilla, 2 pumps caramel, 2 equals and 4 sweet and lows filled to the top with cream, with extra cream on the side, double cupped with no sleeve, a stir stick, and stopper put in the top.
No problem. Your name?
Customer 1: Dickhead.
How about for you, mam?
Customer 2: I'll have a tall half-skinny half-1 percent extra hot split quad shot (two shots decaf, two shots regular) latte with whip.
You bet! And your name?
Customer 2: Cunt.
Thank you, Cunt. Your order will be up in a minute. Good morning, sir. What can I get started for you today?
Customer 3: A grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon, a half packet of splenda, oh and could you please put that in a venti cup and fill up the "room" with extra whipped cream with carmel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top.
Yes sir. Right away. Name?
Customer 3: Diarrhea Mouth.
Coming right up, Mr. Mouth. And sir, what can I get started for you?
Customer 4: I would like a goddamn cup of motherfucking coffee, please.
Cool beans! And your name?
Customer 4: Tom Miller