|
Tom Miller
monkey lizard shadowface |
dialogue between two flies sitting
on a meat box thinking of the
bill perry orchestra
monkey :
this is you
and
this is me
the bamboo
still
the wind
still
which face do you use?
eight eyes
see one thing
eight ways
the wine has dried
at the bottom of the glass
i am there
my tongue and i
are there
together
we are making music
things are always
happening
getting colder now
in here
i am in the leaves
in the veins
in the roots
and the ground
in the lava
at the center
of earth
getting colder now
in here
"be careful with this one.
it's one of your best."
"i can write more," i reply.
"it's nothing. just another poem.
throw it away. forget it."
and the robins
are still whistling
as the sky grows
dark with rain clouds
in formation
like robins
whistling
in the
rain
and
after the rain
and
then
when the moon
floats
they go
somewhere else
?
_________________
there is no context.
the form is in the lines.
the lines are in space.
space is in the space between space.
unfeeling dust becomes me.
i become dust.
all the dust is scattered everywhere
like stars in ashes
like stars in loneliness
when all the bamboo stalks
look at me
with one eye
when the robins whistle,
their breath
moves everything
around
from one thing to the next
just as
a volcano might
or a wave
in the ocean
or the taste i left
of me on your lips
just as
a volcano might
when the robins whistle,
their breath
moves everything
around
whisper now
only whisper
quietly
impact
autumn
on a meat box thinking of the
bill perry orchestra
monkey :
this is you
and
this is me
the bamboo
still
the wind
still
which face do you use?
eight eyes
see one thing
eight ways
the wine has dried
at the bottom of the glass
i am there
my tongue and i
are there
together
we are making music
things are always
happening
getting colder now
in here
i am in the leaves
in the veins
in the roots
and the ground
in the lava
at the center
of earth
getting colder now
in here
"be careful with this one.
it's one of your best."
"i can write more," i reply.
"it's nothing. just another poem.
throw it away. forget it."
and the robins
are still whistling
as the sky grows
dark with rain clouds
in formation
like robins
whistling
in the
rain
and
after the rain
and
then
when the moon
floats
they go
somewhere else
?
_________________
there is no context.
the form is in the lines.
the lines are in space.
space is in the space between space.
unfeeling dust becomes me.
i become dust.
all the dust is scattered everywhere
like stars in ashes
like stars in loneliness
when all the bamboo stalks
look at me
with one eye
when the robins whistle,
their breath
moves everything
around
from one thing to the next
just as
a volcano might
or a wave
in the ocean
or the taste i left
of me on your lips
just as
a volcano might
when the robins whistle,
their breath
moves everything
around
whisper now
only whisper
quietly
impact
autumn
going deeper now
into the shadows
into nutmeg and
on the backs of ants
down into cracks
in the spanish tile
the ants are waving
hello
picking up signals
with their antennae
television shows
from 1950
deeper
grasping for meaning
clawing words
from the sewer
to save them
save them
from the sea
it's all going back
to the sea
and then the sun will
boil it away
and go
supernova
not even the roaches
will make it out
________________
but this is now
what can one
do with
now
except to be there
when it happens
nobody will know you've been here
today
tomorrow
try to write yourself
in the game for awhile
or put yourself
in movies
magazines
paint a picture of
what you saw
who you knew
where you were
how the apple felt
what the rain said
things the sun remembered
and then forgot
what it feels like
to kiss fruit
walk barefoot
over pine cones
by the bridge
over the canal
under the tree
you fell from
once upon a time
even you
can not remember
yourself
nor
i
me
nor
she
her
nor
he
him
nor
it
us
nor
us
it
nor
them
they
when and
after it's done
into the shadows
into nutmeg and
on the backs of ants
down into cracks
in the spanish tile
the ants are waving
hello
picking up signals
with their antennae
television shows
from 1950
deeper
grasping for meaning
clawing words
from the sewer
to save them
save them
from the sea
it's all going back
to the sea
and then the sun will
boil it away
and go
supernova
not even the roaches
will make it out
________________
but this is now
what can one
do with
now
except to be there
when it happens
nobody will know you've been here
today
tomorrow
try to write yourself
in the game for awhile
or put yourself
in movies
magazines
paint a picture of
what you saw
who you knew
where you were
how the apple felt
what the rain said
things the sun remembered
and then forgot
what it feels like
to kiss fruit
walk barefoot
over pine cones
by the bridge
over the canal
under the tree
you fell from
once upon a time
even you
can not remember
yourself
nor
i
me
nor
she
her
nor
he
him
nor
it
us
nor
us
it
nor
them
they
when and
after it's done
going deeper
getting darker
always getting colder
getting older
the best parts
sinking down
falling out
off
falling away
allowing the
skeleton
to emerge
in white splendor
to
decay
to
dust
to
scatter
around
and
around
by the
whistling
of robins
______________
by the whistling of robins
we are in a circle now a
circle within a sphere made
of globes
there is a line
in space
between
unfeeling atoms
and all that is you
how is this so?
that from unfeeling atoms
comes you?
the answer is in the line
in the middle of the middle
underneath the underneath
inside of the outside of the
inside and over the underneath
into the middle of the middle
go there
and find nothing
not a sound
not a picture
not a memory
not a moment
not a poem
not a fly on the window
find nothing there
and know
same
______________
this is you and
this is me
standing by the river
in the shadow of
steel and smoke
in the rich green dirt
in the auburn snow
with the dead fish
and the smell of life
gone south
by the river
with the slow moving squirrels
and the singing time-clocks
in the black grass
in the glass and blood
with the acid jelly skank
run roughshod over the meadow
the smell of life
is an ugly rose
_______________
let me smell you
my love
bury my face
in your neck and arms
and taste the salt sweet
flavor of you
my love
my love
hold me touch my
hair
touch
my hair
touch it
my hair is soft
do you remember?
let me hold you with my eyes
may i?
please.
see inside me
where my heart is
see me there
see me in the sound of my heart
can you hear it?
i know you.
let me tell you that i know you.
i know who you are.
though you have been many faces
i see you there
in blue cool sheets
in summer tornadoes
in silver shimmering sky ships
in bottles of cherry wine
and
even with my eyes closed
even with my eyes closed
even with my eyes closed
i see you there.
getting darker
always getting colder
getting older
the best parts
sinking down
falling out
off
falling away
allowing the
skeleton
to emerge
in white splendor
to
decay
to
dust
to
scatter
around
and
around
by the
whistling
of robins
______________
by the whistling of robins
we are in a circle now a
circle within a sphere made
of globes
there is a line
in space
between
unfeeling atoms
and all that is you
how is this so?
that from unfeeling atoms
comes you?
the answer is in the line
in the middle of the middle
underneath the underneath
inside of the outside of the
inside and over the underneath
into the middle of the middle
go there
and find nothing
not a sound
not a picture
not a memory
not a moment
not a poem
not a fly on the window
find nothing there
and know
same
______________
this is you and
this is me
standing by the river
in the shadow of
steel and smoke
in the rich green dirt
in the auburn snow
with the dead fish
and the smell of life
gone south
by the river
with the slow moving squirrels
and the singing time-clocks
in the black grass
in the glass and blood
with the acid jelly skank
run roughshod over the meadow
the smell of life
is an ugly rose
_______________
let me smell you
my love
bury my face
in your neck and arms
and taste the salt sweet
flavor of you
my love
my love
hold me touch my
hair
touch
my hair
touch it
my hair is soft
do you remember?
let me hold you with my eyes
may i?
please.
see inside me
where my heart is
see me there
see me in the sound of my heart
can you hear it?
i know you.
let me tell you that i know you.
i know who you are.
though you have been many faces
i see you there
in blue cool sheets
in summer tornadoes
in silver shimmering sky ships
in bottles of cherry wine
and
even with my eyes closed
even with my eyes closed
even with my eyes closed
i see you there.
lizard :
nobody
understands
anybody
ever
that is the god's damnedest truth
that is the fucking god damnedest
of all truths. live it. learn it. done.
i was in the meadow
everything was green
movement all around
above me
in the clouds
everything
alive
everything
alive and every color burning
everything
consumes
everything
always
it is the
i
me
problem again
rearing up
its ugly
gnarled
pocked
bird
skeleton face
decayed from all the
years of endless and
endless and endless
and endless diatribe
from one old man's mouth
to the next sitting on the
top of a mountain and
when you make it to
the top where the old
man is sitting he tells
you to get down.
and the bird says
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
it is the
queen birdy bird
and she is carrying a sign
and the sign says
no turding
and she is wearing a
golden crown with jewels
she is magnificent!
she is glorious!
________________
for five minutes
once per year
the queen birdy bird
becomes fertile
and alights on the mountain top
and spreads her beautiful wings
and shrieks...
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
but alas
poor queen
no lover will come
for
she
is the only
queen birdy bird
in the world
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
it is the sound of loneliness
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
it is a sad cry
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
nobody is coming for you
my sweet
you are
alone
five minutes of
memories
and then
you are gone
my darling
sweet
queen birdy bird
nobody
understands
anybody
ever
that is the god's damnedest truth
that is the fucking god damnedest
of all truths. live it. learn it. done.
i was in the meadow
everything was green
movement all around
above me
in the clouds
everything
alive
everything
alive and every color burning
everything
consumes
everything
always
it is the
i
me
problem again
rearing up
its ugly
gnarled
pocked
bird
skeleton face
decayed from all the
years of endless and
endless and endless
and endless diatribe
from one old man's mouth
to the next sitting on the
top of a mountain and
when you make it to
the top where the old
man is sitting he tells
you to get down.
and the bird says
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
it is the
queen birdy bird
and she is carrying a sign
and the sign says
no turding
and she is wearing a
golden crown with jewels
she is magnificent!
she is glorious!
________________
for five minutes
once per year
the queen birdy bird
becomes fertile
and alights on the mountain top
and spreads her beautiful wings
and shrieks...
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
but alas
poor queen
no lover will come
for
she
is the only
queen birdy bird
in the world
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
it is the sound of loneliness
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
it is a sad cry
MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK! MYYANNNK!
nobody is coming for you
my sweet
you are
alone
five minutes of
memories
and then
you are gone
my darling
sweet
queen birdy bird
i belong here
this is my grass
this is my tree
this is my mountain
this is my sand
this is my moon
this is my valley
this is my thunder
this is my ocean
this is my butterfly
this is my color
this is my autumn
__________________
it is still the best poem i've ever heard
perhaps the best poem ever written:
i love the shape of your nose
i love the shape of your nose
even with both eyes closed
i love the shape of your nose
By Bill Perry
but we have to go back
the sun is coming down
mother is calling
the food is ready
it was fun to play with you
but my family loves me
and i love them
i haven't written my sister
in five years
last i heard
she was living in the car
the swans are dying
the lake has receded so far that
the end of the pier is ten feet away
from the edge of the water
there aren't many fossils here
not too many interesting shells
when my toes sink in the mud
i feel like i am sinking in the mud
maybe
i'll be a fossil
in some other boy's ocean
maybe
i'll be a diamond
this is my grass
this is my tree
this is my mountain
this is my sand
this is my moon
this is my valley
this is my thunder
this is my ocean
this is my butterfly
this is my color
this is my autumn
__________________
it is still the best poem i've ever heard
perhaps the best poem ever written:
i love the shape of your nose
i love the shape of your nose
even with both eyes closed
i love the shape of your nose
By Bill Perry
but we have to go back
the sun is coming down
mother is calling
the food is ready
it was fun to play with you
but my family loves me
and i love them
i haven't written my sister
in five years
last i heard
she was living in the car
the swans are dying
the lake has receded so far that
the end of the pier is ten feet away
from the edge of the water
there aren't many fossils here
not too many interesting shells
when my toes sink in the mud
i feel like i am sinking in the mud
maybe
i'll be a fossil
in some other boy's ocean
maybe
i'll be a diamond
and i want to say i am sorry
if i hurt you when i ate you
but it's what i do
i am a lizard
to each little fly and
spider and
ant i want to say
i'm sorry i killed you
but i hurt if i don't eat you
it's what i do
i am a lizard
my tail keeps moving
after you snap it off
but don't worry
i will grow another one
i'm sorry i killed you
but you hurt me when i eat you
it's what i do
i am a lizard
i have been a lizard
i will always be a lizard
even if a man
if i hurt you when i ate you
but it's what i do
i am a lizard
to each little fly and
spider and
ant i want to say
i'm sorry i killed you
but i hurt if i don't eat you
it's what i do
i am a lizard
my tail keeps moving
after you snap it off
but don't worry
i will grow another one
i'm sorry i killed you
but you hurt me when i eat you
it's what i do
i am a lizard
i have been a lizard
i will always be a lizard
even if a man
monkey (slight return) :
me monkey
me not understand you
who you?
you me?
you
another monkey?
me not know
but me smart
me figure it out
monkey moves me hand
monkey moves him hand
monkey moves me leg
monkey moves him leg
me monkey big smile
him monkey big smile
we either
same monkey
or different one
me not know
but me figure it out
me smart
me kiss other monkey
other monkey taste like mirror
me no like other monkey
me throw rock at other monkey
something break
other monkey gone
now me only got myself
to play with
me go look
for another rock
me monkey
me not understand you
who you?
you me?
you
another monkey?
me not know
but me smart
me figure it out
monkey moves me hand
monkey moves him hand
monkey moves me leg
monkey moves him leg
me monkey big smile
him monkey big smile
we either
same monkey
or different one
me not know
but me figure it out
me smart
me kiss other monkey
other monkey taste like mirror
me no like other monkey
me throw rock at other monkey
something break
other monkey gone
now me only got myself
to play with
me go look
for another rock
shadowface :
i am in the dark
watching you
behind you
i am in your wall
from one side to the other
i am in your mirror
i am in the milk
i am in the television
i am in the rain
and in the drops of rain
i am crawling over your skin
at night as an ant
i am a whispering spider
hiding in the closet
under the towels
i am watching you
i am your dog
i am the roaches
under the sink
crawling into your mouth
while you sleep
and what are you?
in all your fine clothing
with your powder
and spray
and bottle-color blond
you mean nothing to me
after i cum
nor before
i am not like you
and i am not you
but i am inside you
very much a part of you
you can't live without me
but you can live within me
i use you
and invent you
you
not i
nor me
i am the lizard and the monkey
i am both of these
you will not know
which one i am
when you see me
if you see me
but i will never be
both the monkey and the lizard
at the same time
and only then if ever
i will be
not the monkey
not the lizard
but
me and only me
the me behind my and under
i and over and around you
________________
there is a place where the beauty of a sunrise
is never taken for granted
there is a place where the water is clean and pure
there is a place where love knows itself for love
there is a place where oceans stand like mountains
there is a place where trees wrap themselves around you
for comfort
there is a place where the roaches sing arias
there is a place where the smell of tequila is understood
by the rusty gate on a tool shed
there is a place where nobody cries
there is a place where stars dance in the orchard
i have never been there
i do not know where it is
i hope i never go there
i am in the dark
watching you
behind you
i am in your wall
from one side to the other
i am in your mirror
i am in the milk
i am in the television
i am in the rain
and in the drops of rain
i am crawling over your skin
at night as an ant
i am a whispering spider
hiding in the closet
under the towels
i am watching you
i am your dog
i am the roaches
under the sink
crawling into your mouth
while you sleep
and what are you?
in all your fine clothing
with your powder
and spray
and bottle-color blond
you mean nothing to me
after i cum
nor before
i am not like you
and i am not you
but i am inside you
very much a part of you
you can't live without me
but you can live within me
i use you
and invent you
you
not i
nor me
i am the lizard and the monkey
i am both of these
you will not know
which one i am
when you see me
if you see me
but i will never be
both the monkey and the lizard
at the same time
and only then if ever
i will be
not the monkey
not the lizard
but
me and only me
the me behind my and under
i and over and around you
________________
there is a place where the beauty of a sunrise
is never taken for granted
there is a place where the water is clean and pure
there is a place where love knows itself for love
there is a place where oceans stand like mountains
there is a place where trees wrap themselves around you
for comfort
there is a place where the roaches sing arias
there is a place where the smell of tequila is understood
by the rusty gate on a tool shed
there is a place where nobody cries
there is a place where stars dance in the orchard
i have never been there
i do not know where it is
i hope i never go there
you know you're in the game
when the dog who never liked you
sleeps by your feet
you're in the game
if you're still breathing
you know you're in the game
if the dice are rolling
if shit still smells like shit
or
if a dollar falls out of your pocket
and you don't give a shit
and if they steal your bike
both you and they are better for it
you're in the game
if your nuts swell up
if your eyes brighten at the thought of ice cream
if you shiver in the cold and love the cold
if it's good to be cold
to be underground
you're still in the game
when they lower you into the
underground and bury you
in your bones
and put a stone on your grave
"here lies the body of an artist
what he did we do not know"
at least that's what i think.
what do you think?
i don't know
i'm just a fly
so am i
are we the same fly or
different ones?
who gives a shit. let's eat.
when the dog who never liked you
sleeps by your feet
you're in the game
if you're still breathing
you know you're in the game
if the dice are rolling
if shit still smells like shit
or
if a dollar falls out of your pocket
and you don't give a shit
and if they steal your bike
both you and they are better for it
you're in the game
if your nuts swell up
if your eyes brighten at the thought of ice cream
if you shiver in the cold and love the cold
if it's good to be cold
to be underground
you're still in the game
when they lower you into the
underground and bury you
in your bones
and put a stone on your grave
"here lies the body of an artist
what he did we do not know"
at least that's what i think.
what do you think?
i don't know
i'm just a fly
so am i
are we the same fly or
different ones?
who gives a shit. let's eat.
epilogue:
let's have a round of applause. he's a genius, folks.
a genius! give him a hand!
tom miller. let's hear it for him. bravo. bravo.
thank you very much, tom. that was a great poem,
if that's what you're calling it.
we hope to have you back sometime.
...and now, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together
for the fabulous
bill perry orchestra!
(b.p.o. enters and begins to play the tune,
i love the shape of your nose.)
finis
let's have a round of applause. he's a genius, folks.
a genius! give him a hand!
tom miller. let's hear it for him. bravo. bravo.
thank you very much, tom. that was a great poem,
if that's what you're calling it.
we hope to have you back sometime.
...and now, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together
for the fabulous
bill perry orchestra!
(b.p.o. enters and begins to play the tune,
i love the shape of your nose.)
finis
