ITEM: Gainesville Performance Artist Tom Miller will be reading every fake claim President Donald Trump has made since becoming president - three-thousand nine-hundred and twenty-four at current count - in a 38-hour marathon event while only consuming McDonald's products.
This marathon reading will occur at the New HardBack Cafe - 920 NW 2nd Street in Undertown, Gainesville, Florida - the Known Center of the Universe.
The event will begin at 6am on Friday, December 28th, continue through the evening, and into the following day December 29th until the mission is completed - estimated to conclude at 8pm. During this time, Miller will only take two 20-minute breaks per day to practice Transcendental Meditation. Three bathroom breaks of three minutes each per day are also included in the artist's performance.
"The real problem," said Tom, "...is that by the time I finish the event, the Donald may have said a bunch more fibs. Theoretically, I could be stuck in a loop forever like someone caught in the "It's a Small World" ride at Disney. I expect to be psychologically and physically challenged - possibly damaged. I'm doing this for the continuation of the species."
But why would Mr. Miller undertake such a feat?
"Because," said Miller, "...none of the other Presidents has any kind of a challenging record of fibbing like this - nothing on the level of Mr. Trump. Performance Artists enjoy taking work to the extremes, and Mr. Trump provides that extreme. This the right President for the right performance! It's going to hurt real bad."
Miller also added, "This is not a partisan work of art. All I'm doing is repeating stuff President Trump has actually said, so nobody should be angry. This could actually be a great event to bring people together in commonality to embrace how fake everything is."
Miller will be reading from the Toronto Star Fact Check Project, an ongoing survey of President Trumps false claims. (LINK: http://projects.thestar.com/donald-trump-fact-check/)
Canadian Minister, The Reverend Angeldust, will be on hand to bless the event on behalf of the Tabernacle of Hedonism - a Gainesville Church of Absurdity.
Miller's last political event, featured in the Huffington Post, was staring into the mouth of Presidential Candidate Ted Cruz for two solid hours without breaking eye-contact. Miller has only recently recovered from that ordeal, but he says the effort was worth the reward. "When you face your darkest fears, you become a better American," said Miller. "Participation in the political process is vitally important, even for the lowest of the low - Performance Artists."
The public is invited to observe. Miller will be tossing out paper towel rolls before beginning the event in case of natural disaster.
Please list this event in your calendar.
CONTACT: firstname.lastname@example.org for feature articles or questions about the event.
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